Plavuše u akciji – Najbolji vicevi 001

Plavuše u akciji – Najbolji vicevi 001

Plavuša,turista,obilazi Baščaršiju. Odjednom iznad proleti Boing 747 koji se spušta na Butmir. Plavuša reče prijateljici:
– “Kakva buka! Šteta što su Turci Baščaršiju sagradili tako blizu aerodroma!”


Ribolovac priča plavuši:
– “Cijeli vikend sam bio na kanalu Dunav-Tisa-Dunav.”
– “Niam čula za njega. Jel taj kanal na kablovskoj?”


Društvo igra pogađanja osoba sa papirićem na čelu.
Plavuša ima papirić “Marilyn Monroe”.
– “Imam li ja veze sa filmom?”
– “Da.”
– “Jesam li plava?”
– “Da.”
– “Jesam li ja Avatar?”


– Zašto plavuša u tužilaštvu stalno diže fascikle na vrh polica?
– Podiže optužnice!


Stoje dvije plavuše nasred parkinga i pokušavaju otključati njihov mercedes sa spajalicom.
– “Ajme ne mogu nikako otključati, govori jedna od njih.”
– “Požuri malo počinje kiša a krov nam je spušten, odgovara druga.”


Vozi plavuša automobil i pregazi četvero ljudi. Zaustavi je policajac i govori joj:
– “Jeste li vi normalni, pregazili ste četvero ljudi!”
Plavuša odgovori:
– “A koliko je dopušteno?”


Plavuša prvi put sprema ručak. Kad je pojeo nekoliko zalogaja muž je upita:
– “Draga, čime si punila šarana?”
– “Kako to misliš punila, pa šaran uopšte nije bio prazan!”


Plavušu zabolio zub i ona ode kod zubara. Kroz prepunu čekaonicu prođe do prijemnog šaltera i požali se sestri da je jako boli zub. Sestra joj odgovori:
– “Budite malo strpljivi, danas je gužva, evo vam redni broj i sačekajte oko pola sata!”
Poslije pola sata plavuša se obrati sestri:
– “Izvinite, prošlo je pola sata a mene i dalje boli zub!”


Plavuša telefonom zove “Vodovod”:
– “Voda mi curi u šahtu u mom dvorištu!”
– “Da li ste primjetili da li curi prije sata ili poslije sata?”
– “Primjetila sam otprilike prije pola sata!”


Plavuša ulazi u poljoprivrednu apoteku i kaže:
– “Molim vas, dajte mi sjeme za ptice.”
– “Koliko ptica imate?” pita apotekar.
– “Pa nemam ni jednu, ali hoću da posijem nekoliko.”

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Načelnik policije drži govor povodom dana bezbjednosti:

„Gdje god je nepravda, haos, lopovluk, kriminal, ugrožavanje osnovnih ljudskih prava i remećenje javnog reda i mira, naći ćete nas!“

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